One of my friends says I have a polished, manicured personality. It’s something that spills into my online presence and real-life appearance.
He says I’m like an advertisement for a “Howard girl boss”. I won’t negate this idea, either. (Check my Instagram, and you’ll see how intentional I am with my content.) So this idea of letting you all into my life this intimately is unseemly for me–which explains why this is my first blog post of 2024.
Since I wrote my last blog post in December 2023, I’ve graduated from Howard University, landed an internship at The New York Times, completed my internship at The New York Times… and that’s it.
After a summer in New York, I couldn’t imagine leaving a place where distractions were many and inhibitions were few. In this interlude of my life, however, I’m navigating both introspection and solitude—something I couldn’t maintain while being in New York.
One of the more prevalent thoughts I’ve had recently is how my conception of post-grad life has been disillusioning. The dream of independence and prosperity I’d imagined after Howard has instead been marked by periods of stagnation and bitterness.
There are moments when I feel that life has dropped me off in uncharted territory, and now the guardrails are off, and I’m finally in this open-ended realm of “adulting.” I get these occasional bouts of impatience where I just want everything to align with my initial vision: a fulfilling job, a Pinterest-worthy apartment and a social life that doesn’t involve getting excited about going to Walmart or Sonic.
For most of my life, I’ve been a student. I don’t know what else to be, and, for a while, I was wondering what this feeling—that simmering feeling in my chest whenever I see a new LinkedIn announcement about someone’s new job offer—was, and then I realized. It’s post-grad depression.
What is Post-Grad Depression?
Post-grad depression, simply put, is that feeling after graduation where you feel stuck, lonely or directionless. It’s usually prompted by the pressure of finding a job or the readjustment of leaving your college life behind.
Like any other form of depression, post-grad depression can manifest in different ways, such as:
- A loss of value or purpose
- Changes in appetite
- Difficulty with concentration and decision-making
- Fatigue and sleep difficulties
- Feelings of pessimism, sadness or anxiety
- Loss of interest in your hobbies and daily activities
The first few weeks after my internship ended, my life felt monotonous: Wake up, apply for jobs, sulk, rinse and repeat. I put life on hold to create a dream life in my head that I was so certain I would attain in the next month, fixating on a mirage of my ideal future.
I was rushing to move into another phase.
But there were many nights where I really wondered what the purpose of everything was. Applications went unanswered, and the relationships from college I never thought would change eventually shifted.
Had I reached my peak? Was this limbo my new reality?
Where most of my revelations occur, I had a crying-in-the-car session to realize that no season is wasted. Not even the ones filled with isolation.
How I’m Overcoming It
1. Passion Projects + Hobbies
After a two-month hiatus, returning to my blog with intentionality and fastidiousness decentered my desires for perfection and instant success. While my platform has been a craft I’ve been perfecting since I was 18, the art of actually curating a community rooted in something bigger than myself–and hoping to nurture others who feel the same way–felt healing.
Aside from my blog, I’ve seriously pursued yoga and meditation–because I cannot afford to take on two expensive hobbies. When my anxiety consumed me, yoga softened those sharp pains in my chest and steadied my thoughts.
I started with a five-minute morning meditation to release emotional attachments, then did a 10-minute morning yoga flow from Pinterest.
The process of slowing down, being mindful and living in the present–not regretting the past nor pining after the future–grounded me in what was in front of me.
2. Reframing My Mindset
In my newsletter, Sacred Sundays, I talked about my battle with negative thoughts and the exercises I used to cast them out.
When editing the newsletter, I began to recognize that my moments of isolation were breeding a better version of me. One that learned the meaning of endurance AND active patience, where I acknowledge that good things take time but still seek opportunities to prepare myself for the future God has planned for me.
There were several nights where I would reread Psalms 143 or a chapter of Romans to steady my anxious thoughts. In those moments of solitude, I realized when depression happens, the enemy uses your brain against you.
It’s a battle that you can give to God by immersing yourself in His word and relying on His strength.
Remember: Reframing your mindset is about shifting the negative internal narratives to Godly truths and repeating those thoughts until they become active beliefs.
3. Mind, Body and Soul Work
Aligning my mind, body, and soul is a work in progress.
Many days, I slip and go back to old habits that don’t serve me—like mindlessly scrolling through Twitter or thinking about past mistakes I’ve made.
But true alignment means consistently engaging in activities that nourish me holistically. For me, that looks like morning meditation and yoga, followed by light Bible studying. It looks like writing weekly newsletters on my blog and curating my Pinterest feed. It looks like dancing to house music early in the morning and late at night.
These are all things that align with what makes me happy.
I’m not gonna lie. I sometimes get discouraged about my post-grad life, but I’m maintaining the belief that God wastes no seasons—especially not waiting seasons.
Instead of impatience and fear, I’m choosing grace. I’m choosing gratitude. I’m choosing an unwavering faith. I hope this blog post relieves you from the expectations of having your life together. Your post-grad years are for making mistakes, forgiving yourself and building a life that has purpose.
May you spend this season doing what your spirit guides you to.
