It’s everything you need to hear about getting over a situationship.
This is probably the most candid I’ve gotten on my blog (thus far) but I think it’s time to get unadulterated. So let’s talk about it: Situationships.
They’re awkward. They’re confusing, and most times, they leave you with a bad taste in your mouth. But what is a situationship?
Situationships are blurred lines. In plain terms, they’re undefined romantic relationships. You’re not boyfriend and girlfriend, you’re not engaged, and you’re not married. There typically isn’t commitment or defined lines.
Essentially, it’s a label to describe “label-free” relationships.
Sometimes, beautiful things can come out of confusing situations. As college kids and young adults, sometimes a situtationship may be good if you don’t want to commit to anything serious.
But what about people who like labels and commitments?
Honestly, I’ve taken a succession of Ls this year just because I thought “situationships” would lead to something more valuable. If you’re in the same boat–wanting something concrete out of a vague situationship–I’m here to tell you some things you might not want to here but need to.
Here’s the ugly truth:
If you’re looking for something long term, you likely won’t find in a situationship
Situationships usually don’t lead to long-lasting relationships. It’s usually something fun and in-the-moment, but most times it leaves you confused and hurt. It can be fun to experience that rush of something new and exciting, but it can fizzle out if you and your partner are not on the same page.
If you both want to stay in a situationship, all power to you! But, if both of you want two different things…then there may a lay a problem.
If you’re looking for something serious and long-lasting, sitatutionships will only get you so far (especially if your companion is only looking for something casual). Inconsistency, confusion, and vague answers are some things to look out when spotting a situationship.
So if you’re looking for a label, situationships probably aren’t for you.
If they’re not for you, you need to recognize the signs
I’m telling you, y’all, if this person you’re involving yourself with is not meant for you, the signs will be there whether you want to recognize them or not. Some are blatantly in your face and some are more subtle, but the signs are there. Not matter what you’ll have a gut feeling.
Red flags still look red even with rose-colored glasses, so don’t ignore them because they will come back to bite you in the worst way.
Candid moment: Over the summer, I had a situationship. Things were going great despite having seem some red flags previously. It wasn’t until he went to college that I started having these awful gut feelings. I wasn’t naïve; college is a place where you can meet all kinds of people. It wouldn’t be too hard to find someone else.
Turns out my gut feelings were right.
Don’t ignore the red flags. If your S.O leaves you feeling confused, disconnected, and hurt, then a situationship with that person may not be for you.
If you see this situationship going nowhere, break it off immediately
For me, I fell hard for the idea of a guy-what he could offer, the things we could do, etc. When he disappointed me–as I knew he would–I still felt heartbroken because I had this magical idea of what we could’ve been. After months of late-night conversations, face time calls, thousands of messages, I felt lied to, duped, and gaslighted.
I felt like I messed up because I disrupted my dreams about what could’ve been. In reality, I was waiting for something that was never going to happen.
If you’re someone who wants to be in a full-term relationship, situationships are not the answer especially if your partner is vague. If they’re constantly at the last minute, hint at being involved with other people, and are inconsistent, something long term probably won’t be for you.
Spare yourself time and heartache by cutting off anything that doesn’t serve you. Don’t want to be in that gray area? Nip it in the bud now.
It may hurt now, but your decision to put yourself first should always be a top priority. You will only benefit yourself in the end.
Hopefully sharing my story helps you all get over those undefined relationships. If you haven’t read my last article, check it out here and let me know about your own experiences with situationships below!
XOXO
