2020 was a tumultuous year to say the least, and it definitely did not turn out like I had planned.
Usually I’m a go-with-the-flow type of person, but when 2020 rolled around, I had everything planned because it was my graduation year. I was going to:
- Graduate high school (in person)
- Take the IB exams and get my IB Diploma
- Move to D.C to attend Howard University
Of course, Covid-19 changed just about everything on that list. I went from seeing my friends everyday at school to being isolated 24/7. As a homebody, I thought this would be great because I could work on my creative writing and spend some much needed self-care time, but Covid and Summer 2020 thrust me into a new territory.
With the murder of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, and Breonna Taylor, tensions were high and people were angry–rightfully so. I watched as my classmates at Howard and my peers got up, organized, protested, and spoke up about the injustices plaguing our community. I watched as they walked on the frontlines, and I felt powerless, speechless, and helpless.
It seemed like nothing I could say or do would help ease tensions or spark change. For once in my life, I felt like things were out of my hands. I had no control and no power.
As someone with a compromised immune system, I knew I could never be on the frontlines like I wanted to because I would be putting my health on the line. I had to be around to watch as the world changed; I needed to, and I wanted to be a part of a change bigger than me. There had to be another way to make my voice heard so I wasn’t just watching from the sidelines.
I decided to create my own platform. Oddly enough, my friends in high school talked about how they could see me running a blog, but with school and clubs, I felt like I never had time. With the world on lockdown, all I had was time.
If you were here from my blog’s inception, you knew it was once called “For the BlkGrls”. It was supposed to be a safe space for young Black girls and women to not only learn about themselves, but also empower their inner child. In a world that constantly tears down Black women, Black girls are often torn down from childhood.
We’re set up to be torn down and destroyed.
Originally, I wanted to talk about politics, culture, lifestyle, beauty, and relationships, but I still felt like I needed to talk about something else–something I was really passionate about–so I decided to write about murder mysteries involving Black women. I love true crime, and I knew there was an unimaginable number of Black women who have went missing and there’s been virtually no coverage it.
Being an indecisive person, I had no direction and no idea how I wanted to go about making my blog, but I knew that I wanted people to learn and I wanted Black women to feel welcomed. For the majority of my blog’s duration, I’ve been winging it and just trying to write things that would have appealed to a younger version of myself.
As I began writing, though, I found myself nurturing the inner-twelve-year-old in me who was constantly seeking acceptance from the wrong people. Not only was I helping the people around me, I was healing myself in the process and I didn’t realize it until later.
With the transition came a sense of relief that I could be myself and be completely honest about the things that happen in my life. These past few months have been about me exploring who I am as a young woman and what I want out of life. I’m not always consistent, but I’m always thinking about what’s next for me and for my blog.
That’s when I realized I wanted to change the direction of “For the BlkGrls” to “Makenna’s Meditation”. Even though, I had my own platform, I still felt scared to be 100% transparent. Something about putting myself out into the world to be viewed and even criticized frightened me. Still, I wanted to make the transition or else I felt like I would be stuck, trapped in a box that I set myself up in.
It takes time for great things to become great and I’m forever thankful for the people who read and comment on my blogs and my content. I’m still a small blogger just trying to help the world around me, but if I help one person, I feel like all my hard work has a purpose.
So… what’s next?
As I finally make the move to D.C, you guys will get to have a glimpse into my life at Howard as I navigate college, friendships, and the world around me. I hope to make more visual content, and most importantly I hope to create a space where everyone around me feels welcome and visible.
Once again, thank you so much to my new readers and my OG readers. Y’all mean the world, and I can’t wait to create more content for you all.
